Tennyson's independence

I wonder all the time if my two boys are so different because I'M different... I know I don't "hover" as much with Tennyson as I did with Xander... I also don't get to spend the same amount of time with him as I did with my firstborn. But I also see such wonderful individuality with both boys. Xander is my little perfectionist, typical firstborn (as I was) in so many ways and yet SO like his father with his goofiness and his self-fulfillment/self-enjoyment. It's not selfishness, he'd do anything to help others, just like his dad. But Xander is in his own world, ... completely satisfied with who he is and not needing to search outside himself for fulfillment. He expects the world to fall into place around him and it usually does! :)

Tennyson is much like his brother, precocious teether and speaker, advanced quite beyond a typical "2 year old". But they are also so different. Tennyson has a soundtrack in his head... he sings all the time, about everything! And his little body is always in tune to the rythmn of the moment, be it a song, a commercial, a train whistle, a bird-call... there's a different "dance"for everything! LIFE makes little Tata smile, ... and his silliness, well... he's a little actor, hamming it up whenever and wherever! Yet he also is not swayed easily by others... he doesn't cater to whatever the "adult" figure desires, he knows what he wants and has no trouble expressing it! (I revel in the fact that neither of my boys will be "push-overs" or crowd followers. It may be challenging now, but I'd much rather that than have little drones later in life! I hope I can continue to foster that individuality!)

There are a few moments that stand out for me when I think back on little Tatinators life so far... When he was just a new walker last spring we went to a park... he tried to climb "up" a slide. I watched him get about halfway up and then start to falter. I braced myself for the wail of frustration as I watched him slip back down to the bottom. Unlike his brother though (who would have been in tears at not accomplishing this), Tennyson was giggling hilariously! He did it again and again, thinking it was the best thing ever!
Another thing is that Tennyson rejoices in self-sufficiency (for the most part)... he works at something for way longer than Xander did before he asks for help. Feeding himself, brushing his teeth, figuring out a puzzle... all of these are his "accomplishments". I know part of this comes from observing his older brother, but a lot of it is just him.
Today, I watched Tennyson do something else I'll always remember. At a park near downtown there is a three story climbing structure. On that third level there is no way to get (or fall) down other than back down the ladder one climbs to get up or down a three story slide that is QUITE steep. (Xander only worked up the gumption to go down it by himself last summer). For the past park visits I haven't allowed Tennyson up there without me, ... but this time, he was insistent and I wanted to see what he'd do once up there. The first time, he hung out up there a while and then when I asked if he wanted down he said "yes". A bit later, there he was climbing up again. I watched and he was just sitting up there. The next thing I knew, I didn't see him, ... my heart skipped a beat and then there he was, at the bottom of the huge slide, not batting an eye, just running off to play some more!

Oh my little man... It's wonderful and yet bittersweet how you "manage" so much on your own. I'm glad I have a bit of time yet before I'm pregnant again and that I have your "baby-hood" a bit longer! I love you my little "Tatinator" and how I love being your mom! Now to just keep you "safe"!!! ;)

Xander's thoughts today

This morning, after pensively eating his breakfast, Xander informed me that;
"when I grow up and I'm a man I'm going to invent a real Time Machine, Mom. I will go back in time and see Zuessy again and pet him and give him ice cream. I'll take you guys with me too, you, Dad and Tennyson, so you could see Zuess. Then, I'm going to go back (with you) to the day you and Dad got married and you can sit in the church and watch yourselves get married! Won't that be crazy, Mom? And then, I will go back to the time when it was just you and me and I was jumping in the leaves and I will watch you for a little bit and then I'll go play with you guys and you will say "who are YOU????" ... cause I'll be a grown-up playing in the leaves, and I'll say "I'm Xander" and you will say " no, THIS is Xander" and I'll say, "but it IS me Mom and I'm all grown up!" :)



"Mom, what happens if you put your hand in a rainbow? Does it go through it?" (I informed him that rainbows were made by sunlight hitting rain or moisture in the air and refracting the light. I also tell him how I chased rainbows when I was a girl and was never able to "catch" one) "But mom, how come in movies then and shows, they go and find the end of the rainbow? Or they get to walk on it like Dora? Are there different kinds of rainbows? Magic ones? ... I'm gonna find one someday!"
(After the rain/thunder/hail storm at the park this afternoon we saw a rainbow on the way home)

A meaningful quote to launch this blog:

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin- real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness: happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.

Happiness is a Journey, Not a Destination... Souza