A momentous occasion happened last weekend. On Sunday, March 23rd we celebrated Urizen's "Stop Nursing" party. He'd been ready for a while and I think I was the one "holding on" more than anything. Though he asked every day for it and of course we nursed to sleep always.
We had talked about it with him and he said he wanted Saturday the 22nd to be his last time. I felt sad because he fell asleep on the couch that night and when he stirred a few hours later, I went in to him and nursed him, but he slept through it. I think he knew though, ...he clutched me tightly, more than he had in a while and seemed to be "saying goodbye" so to speak. I shed a few tears and even now get misty-eyed. It's been over a decade, (ten and a half years to be exact!) since I started the nursing phase of my journey with the boys. 10 years of wonderful bonding and snuggling and sweet baby hands holding mine. I can't believe it's over in a way... I hope Heaven somehow is a place where you can re-live all the wonderful experiences of the past,... what perfection that would be!
Now this first week, Urizen was really good and hardly cried as the other two did. The first night was hard for me because he said "I've changed my mind, I still want to Nee-Nee, Mommy" as he whimpered tearily into my shoulder. He calmed down right away though when I told him I'd snuggle him just as tight and we'd still go to sleep together. He asked a few more nights, but last night and tonight there was just snuggles. He said the sweetest thing though two days ago and I never want to forget it. He crawled into my lap in the middle of the day and held me tight, in the position he used to nurse in. He told me "I really loved to Nee-Nee Mommy, and you still have milk in your Nee-Nee's and I love to snuggle next to them now"
Oh, ...my baby. How hard it is for mama's to watch their little ones grow up! (And wonderful at the same time!)
