A bit of history :)

This is excerpted from a note to a friend. It details a bit of the past 10 years, ...

Well, I don't know how detailed I'll get tonight as to my "journey", seeing as how it's nearly 2 am here and all my boys are asleep ;) Still, that's about the only time I get to e-mail anyone!

After the wedding Sebastian and I honeymooned in Coronado (it was magical, to say the least!) and then it was back to work as receptionist and back to school as well. I took one more semester and then decided that school and work and a new marriage were just a lot to handle. I felt like I wasn't having NEARLY the time I wanted to with Sebastian so I stopped the weekend and evening classes. :) I decided (and he agreed) that I'd put him through school and grad school (he was student teaching at the time but that didn't pay enough to live on) and then, he'd support me the rest of our lives so I could stay home with the kids! ;) (I think I got the better end of the bargain!). So, I switched jobs and started waiting tables, (better hours, better pay) and we greatly enjoyed graduate school/ college life and newlywed bliss!.

My mom and dad had a lot of trials at this time, my grandmother died, leaving them some money and they tried to follow their "dream" and build a house in Colorado. They DID build it, but many trials and tribulations later (VERY long story) they ended up having to sell it, losing a lot of money and declaring bankruptcy. That is their story though and not really a happy one. :( In May of 2000, (my parents had moved back to Las Cruces at this time) Stephanie married one of the ushers from my wedding (Kyle, a childhood friend) They now have 4 children and are living in Northern AZ. (He builds spec houses, much like your ex I suppose)

When Sebastian was about to graduate with his Masters, he got a call from IBM. They wanted him to come and complete an internship (with the intent to hire) with them here in Rochester, MN. We packed up our 3 cats and our belongings and headed up here, sight unseen. :) It was fortuitious, he didn't even have to interview! We moved up in January and it was a COLD winter! There was still snow on the ground in early May and we were a bit disillusioned. Not knowing anyone and the insecurity of the job market was a bit tough, that and the "shock" of the real world after college! ;) (though looking back, we were just young I think, and leaving all we knew!). When he completed his masters and submitted his thesis, he was offered a job... we decided to stay and bought a house since it was cheaper than renting. We intended to only stay in the house for 3 years or so, ... find something we liked better down the road. We're still here though! And we've done so much to the house I don't know if we'll leave it anytime soon. I thought for a while we could use more space with two growing boys (and hopefully more eventually. God willing!), but really, we have plenty, The Lord had blessed us so much, and we've grown attached to the place. (After all, it was where my "babies" came home to!) Speaking of which, ...:)

After 5 years of marriage Sebastian was ready to tackle "fatherhood". :) Hmmm, I guess we were the same as you! As soon as we stopped "avoiding it", I was pregnant that next month! I waited to take the test and found out on my 26th birthday! I'd been wating tables again up here, just lunch shifts, to pay off some bills and get out of the house. I had BAD morning (did I say morning? I meant ALL DAY!) sickness, though, and after a week or so of trying to deliver food in between running to the bathroom, I gave my two weeks notice and settled down for the "stay-at-home" mom bit! (Which is what I always wanted anyway). We remodeled the basement while I was pregnant and other than the severe sickness ( I actually had to get on medication to stop the vomiting), there were no complications for most of the pregnancy. I didn't want an ultrasound, wanted to do everything as "naturally" as possible, but in October, about 6 weeks prior to my due date, I had some bleeding. The dr. ordered an ultrasound to rule out placenta previa. I also was measuring small for my due date so they wanted to make sure everything was ok. The first ultrasound showed the baby a bit small so they wanted to induce early. (I refused and asked for another ultrasound as at this late date there is such a large margin of error. Sure enough, on the second one the baby was the right size). They kept monitoring me twice a week, but things looked great. I went 10 days over (according to THEM, my dates put me at 3-4 days over) and so they induced me on November 24th, 2003. (I could go WAY longer with this birth story, but I won't bore with too many more details! ) The "hard labor" hit at 3:30 and Alexander Sebastian Fuhrer was born at 5:52 pm! We were SO thrilled to have a boy (we hadn't found out) and Sebastian CRIED!!!! It was quite an experience and lets just say I hope I don't have to be induced with my third! Pitocin contractions are NO FUN! ;) (In fact, in talking with my sisters midwife later, she was shocked I didn't have any pain meds with it, .... Pitocin contractions are quite different than normal labor)

Anyway, life was changed forever, but in a good way. Adaptation from couplehood to parenthood took a few months, we missed the spontaneity of pre-children days, but it was amazing to be a mom! (As you well know!)

That first year was incredible with Xander, .... yet extremely sad in another way. My mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer a month after Xander was born. It's a tough disease, 2% survival, ...so I wasn't too optimistc. She opted out of chemo and radiation and just had surgery. The dr's didn't want to give her a figure, but I researched it and it looked like 3-6 months at most. Sebastian and I and Stephie and her husband Kyle set up a "family reunion" in San Diego for that June and my mom had a wonderful time. That is how I like to remember her, ... though even then, you could tell how tired she was. I flew down to see her in October that year and surprised her. .... it was really hard, the change was so dramatic. It was downhill after that and though Sebastian and I had bought tickets to be down there for Christmas that year, I got a call from my dad on the 12th saying I needed to come down. My mom recognized me and was lucid that first day, a bit, but after that it was just waiting. She died before dawn on the 16th of December, 2004. It was so hard and yet so incredible at the same time. I don't know if it was having just had a baby and being aware of what "birth" was, but I truly felt as if I was witnessing a "birth" from the inside, so to speak. It was like watching all the labor pains, and the struggle, but then, the glorious "coming to be", it was behind a veil or a wall that I wasn't a part of.... I felt the loss of her spirit intensely, even as I held her hand... and yet, she wasn't "gone", just departed. I still feel her presence every day, ... and I so wish she could have known my boys. Yet I also know God had a plan and that somehow, it was her time to go to Him! The pain, even though it lessons, doesn't go away, and there are so many things I wish I could share with her today!

Oh my, I'm sorry,I don't mean to dwell on sad things ...

Anyway, God and life have been extremely good to me other than losing my mom. I am so blessed to be Xander's and Tennyson's mom, and we are starting on the "official" home-school adventure next year! Xander is an amazing little guy with an incredible imagination (I swear he will be a movie director someday or perhaps a writer). We wanted our kids about 2 and a half years apart as well, ... but Xander was all of a sudden 2 years old and we realized we'd better "get on the ball"! :) We got pregnant the summer of 2006 and Tennyson Xavier was born, in a rainstorm, on March 30th 2007. He was late as well, but thankfully came before his induction date! His labor was even faster than Xander's, I woke at 3 am with contractions, ... made Sebastian and Xander some eggs, took Xander to the sitter, got to the hospital/birth center at 5am and he was born at 6:04! I'm a blessed/lucky woman! LOL! 2 pushes and he was out! (granted, I thought the Dr was saying to "keep going" when he actually was saying "that's good" meaning STOP! :) Ah well, I tore with both boys, but it all heals! Tennyson is my "clone" as his dad calls him. Its funny how much Xander is like his father and Tennyson is like me! Though they both have elements of the other parent of course.! But motherhood is GRAND! I only hope I can treasure each moment (go on "adventures" with them like you do with your little men), and take nothing for granted. My experience with losing my mom and so many of my extended family is to cherish every day, and give my little guys the best memories I can :)

We are thinking about #3, .... I feel like we're supposed to have another boy. If it wasn't for the TIME (which I already feel so torn about, ... its so hard because you can never give the second what you gave the first! If I had a maid and a cook and a gardener) I'd have 6 or 7 children! But I think we want at least one more. So we'll see what happens in the next year or so.

I love the Midwest, the seasons, the family-centered-ness, (though my love affair with the ocean will never cease, ... I certainly hope to someday live near it!) And I am at such a wonderful moment in my life, I thank God every day for seeing fit to give it to me!

Just a glimpse of what I recall at 2 am :)!