God, ... this is Xander

What a nice day today, outside with Xander and Tennyson and the spring sunshine! I'm so blessed to have my two little men (and my "big" one :)! )

Xander had a long morning of first reading Bible stories (the story of Noah, which greatly disturbed him and he informed me that he "didn't like this story Mom, WHY does God kill everyone except Noah and his family? Even if they ARE evil???", of digging and cleaning out the sandbox, finding worm families (and commenting, "Do you think there are worm churches under the ground Mom? Where worms can get married?), picking violets for Mom to press, playing ball with his little brother and finally having lunch with Tennyson, Mom and Dad.

The afternoon consisted of doing reading lessons out on the deck, playing puzzles, watching "Power Puff Girls" while Mom and Dad did yoga, and then playing until dinner (which was eaten while we all watched Star Trek, the Final Frontier). Xander was tired, even though he insisted he wasn't and upon climbing in bed and snuggling, this is what transpired:

"Mom, ... you know a long time ago when I said a robber had gotten into the house somehow and taken all the glow-in-the- dark stars off my ceiling? Well, ... I know you're not gonna like this, but I have to tell you, ... I lied about that, ...it was me who did it. I've been keeping it a secret this whole time." (It has been over a year and a half since this occurred! I didn't push him to confess at the time, figuring he'd tell me eventually)
"I kept it a secret and I didn't tell you cause I was only three at the time and it wasn't like when I was four and knew that I would never tell a lie!" " I was afraid you would take away a bunch of toys if I told you, but I know now that I should have told you any-way"
I consoled him and then said prayers, ... I had barely finished the Lords Prayer when Xander piped up "Mom, I don't think you should pray what everyone else prays, that's just like being like everyone else. You're not like the other kids moms that make them go to bed early and don't buy them lots of toys and don't teach them how to read and make them do chores" (I do have him do chores, I guess he just doesn't think of them that way) I informed Xander that the Lord's prayer is what Jesus taught us and that it's a prefect way of communicating with God.... he acquiesced , but then said, ... "can I pray now Mom?" :) Of course, Xander....

GOD? Thankyou for today, thankyou for mom and dad and Tennyson,... Thankyou for not making there be any more world wars, ... even though I wish there was, because it would be exciting, thankyou for knowing I don't really mean it...thankyou for spaceships. Please let there never be an earthquake or a tornado here... Thankyou for making there never be another big flood... God, please make it be the end of time so I can meet Jesus and ask him why rainbows can never be caught, ... why the closer you get to them the farther away they get. God, let me get all my reading lessons done by the time Bamma visits. Thankyou God , Thankyou.

My little man, wanting to be so big and yet still wanting to cuddle... I hope I have not forced you to grow up too fast... to be so aware of wars and such at 5!!! Still, it's just the magic of you, you want to know everything and from the moment I first held you I saw in your eyes that insatiable thirst for information, for exposure to the world, for glorious knowledge. I revel in that, even though it's a challenge. I pray that I can give you what you desire... and what you need. And I hope that I have given you the love you needed so far. (I wonder sometimes, when you still want to be near me so much. Did I err in leaving you with sitters as a baby? Did they let you cry? Did I mis-read the signals and encourage you to wean before you were ready? Even now you watch your brother and on rare occasions ask if you can "nee nee" again.) Still, that too is YOU. Like your mama, you cherish the past and the future and build them up in your mind. I'm glad you've also got your father's self-sufficiency though. Peer pressure will never be a problem I feel. You're way too much in your "own world"

I thank God every day that I am your mother and I only wish that I could somehow be 3 people, one each for you, your brother and your dad. How I wish I could hold on to every moment. That will be my "heaven" to be with those I love FOREVER!

Good night my little love... My firstborn.