Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Growing Pains

Parenting is so wonderful and yet such a challenge at times. Today was one of the first times when I've seen Xander start to "test the waters" of rebellion. It wasn't anything big, to most people it would be laughable even. He IS five and a half, and beyond his years in so many ways. I'm sure I tested my mother long before I was his age.

It was just a little thing, we'd been at the park with play-group for over 2 hours. Xander had been "sensitive" all day... every little thing that went wrong would provoke tears or anger. I knew he was tired and I wasn't surprised that he showed it, but it hurt a bit just the same.

As I was getting Tennyson into our car, Xander was saying "good-bye" to his best friend and I warned him not to climb into said friends car and that we needed to go. He said his goodbyes and came toward me, then turned and ran back into the other mini-van. I said I'd count to 3 and got to "2", he came, but was very mad. He looks me in the eye and says "I wish Michelle had 4 boys instead of just 3!" And stormed off into his seat. I understood that he was mad and I know it's natural for kids to see others lives as "better" than their own. Being who I am however, it gave me pause and I haven't been able to get it out of my thoughts for the rest of the evening.

What was he saying by this statement? Do I demand too much of him? Am I not the "fun" mother I used to be?... Thinking about it, I can't remember the last time I just sat down with him and FOCUSED on playing. We have a lot of fun together and I spend one-on-one time with him every day at least for school if not just talking or helping him with some project or another. But when was the last time I fostered just fun "nothing" time?

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.”

Winnie the Pooh


Of course, today/tonight when I really want to change and give Xander a fun day tomorrow, ... I have much to accomplish. Still, I suppose that too is a lesson for me, ... what can I NOT do tomorrow

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