The summer rain is absolutely pouring right now. I sit here listening to it hit the roof and chimney, subtle on the shingles and metallically ringing on the fireplace flue. I'm perfectly contented as I sit here and think back on the past 15 years! (15 years come December, ... HOW is that so?!?!? I begin to understand how Heaven in it's infinity is the only way there is enough time to spend with your soul-mate, your family and your Savior!.... This time is but a blink of the eye, a flicker in the night, .... and how much faster it seems to fly when you are happy and fulfilled ! This is a wonderful time in our lives. We have three healthy and happy growing boys. I have the love of my life at my side as we face the future together. There are so many things that I look forward to (God willing) and no matter what, we have each other and our beautiful lives here on this beautiful earth! Thank-you Lord for your many blessings and all the glory you have bestowed on this world!
Tonight Tennyson said it so aptly: "Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you God for this world and EVERYTHING in it and EVERYTHING!!!!! Amen!" :) Ahhhh, I need to record these fleeting glimpses of childhood thoughts. I'll start tomorrow night with a voice recorder and hopefully catch these perfect moments with my boys at night as their days slow down and the moments coalesce in their minds and spirits. Xander and Tennyson and Urizen... my little loves and my amazing friends and my little poets at night. You are all three so unique and inspiring and I can't begin to imagine how incredible your lives will be.
This has been a lovely summer so far: Kris staying for 5 weeks, a dinner date with my Love, trips to the Zoo and the Mississippi with the boys, riverboat rides and train excursions. Urizen is enraptured with trains and boats after the trip to La Crosse... and I realize how wonderful little people's memories are when he brings it up on a weekly basis and reminds ME of it!;)
All the boys are growing so fast... I really don't have a "baby" anymore! Xander is 8 going on 14, Tennyson is reading at a 3-4th grade level and Urizen is talking up a storm, dealing with feelings and limits and expressing himself through words at an incredible pace.
And me, ... I feel so perfectly fulfilled right now. I would have been totally happy with only Sebastian had that been God's plan. I always wanted to be a mom though, and after Xander was born I felt fulfilled,... but I knew I wanted him to have siblings. Then Tennyson came along and I couldn't imagine being more blessed. I'll always remember going to Disneyland and the Mall of America, etc. with just the two little boys, ... one for each of us! Holding their little hands, we grew so used to how that felt that on the rare occasions when Sebastian and I held each others' hand, it/they felt enormous!
And then little Urizen, our little man that felt so "right". I knew the next day that I was pregnant and knew it was a boy, ... each step of the way there were no surprises :) Urizen gave us a smile and a look during his 20-week ultrasound as if to say "what did you think guys? it's me and I'll be out soon to join in the fun!;) ) He's my "baby" and yet he's so independent! (At this point Tennyson seems to be the natural "baby" of the family! :) ) Urizen wants to do anything and everything that the boys do :) And I suppose that suits him. He will be like Xander in his drive and individuality and yet like Tennyson in his ability to "let go" and roll with the punches. Urizen does seem to be the most "boy-ish" of the boys though. Whether that is having two older brothers or just his own testosterone level, time will tell, :)
Tonight though, I just love my boys, (all 4!!!!) And I love being the Soul and keeper of the home and hearts right now. I pray every day for guidance that Yahweh will give me the strength and wisdom and patience to help and teach every day without tiring. I LOVE YOU my Yeshua! And I love that you've fulfilled my every desire and given me my perfect family! Thank-you, Thank-you, THANK-YOU!!!
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